The next time you’re at an elegant dinner party (or other upscale social event where SEOs are typically found in abundance) and are introduced to an SEO, consider the following conversation starter points to head off any potentially awkward initial few moments in the interaction:
Oh man social. Whoaa. (roll eyes noticeably upward)
Someone recently told me about the most fascinating thing. I think it’s called meta keywords?
So tell me. Is your word retargeting or remarketing?
By the way my company is starting a new website. Our main keyword target is “click here.”
As expected a just-released study on the effects of coffee consumption noticeably leaves out any confirmed connection between drinking coffee and Google rankings. Researchers from The National Institutes of Health do mention that in some study participants a longer lifespan was observed, lending credence to the possibility that they will have more time to perform search engine queries.
According to inside sources it is believed that several employees within well-known SEO software tool maker SEOmoz drink coffee daily, prompting widespread speculation inside the search marketing community. However, Google spam chief Matt Cutts when questioned recently on the topic refused to confirm whether Google considers coffee consumption as a ranking signal. Cutts added, “If you brew a good cup of coffee then people will naturally want to drink it and baristas really shouldn’t worry about whether coffee affects rankings or not. Just focus on making a great cup.” Cutts declined to elaborate further citing concerns that webmasters might be encouraged to collude with baristas and possibly national coffee brands to manipulate Google rankings in violation of Google guidelines.
When not at work in my office there are times when working around town has its appeal. Coffee shops are always an option. The Caribou Coffee store at 2721 West 120th Avenue in Westminster is close to where I live.
The wi-fi connection is decent. There are tables and plenty of electrical outlets to use. Here’s a shot of the interior.
The photo was taken about lunch time on a weekday. As far as I know you don’t have to wear a cap to use a computer here. At least there was no sign. Drive-through SEO anyone?
A magazine recently ran a ‘Dilbert Quotes’ contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real-life Dilbert-type managers. These were voted the top ten quotes in corporate America:
‘What I need is an exact list of specific unknown problems we might encounter.’ (Lykes Lines Shipping)
‘E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business.’ (Accounting manager)
‘This project is so important we can’t let things that are more important interfere with it.’ (Advertising/ Marketing manager)
‘Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule.’ (Plant Manager)
‘No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We’ve been working on it for months. Now go act busy for a few weeks and I’ll let you know when it’s time to tell them.’ (R&D supervisor)
Quote from the Boss: ‘Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say.’ (Marketing executive)
My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my Boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, ‘That would be better for me.’ (Shipping executive)
‘We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees.’ (Switching supervisor)
(This was the winning quote)
‘As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday, and employees will receive their cards in two weeks.’